I was in high anticipation for this birth. My last birth before this one actually turned into a newborn session due to mama not calling in time, so it had been a hot second since I had been in the birth scene. And to make things sweeter, this mama, Carie, is also mine and my sons’ chiropractor — she’s served my family for over a year now and I was honored to be able to serve her in a small way as well. Let’s jump on in, shall we?

I was greeted with a text before bed, around 10:30 pm that Carie was having some irregular contractions — “so maybe tonight? maybe not?” part of her text read.

I naturally couldn’t sleep well and could tell that that night was going to be the night. I awoke to a call around 2-3am saying things were progressing, and by 4am doula Kehaulani was on her way and I was getting around as well. I arrived shortly after 5am into a very peaceful atmosphere… making sure not to disrupt it with my entrance, sneaking in ever so lightly. Once mama worked through her contraction, she saw me and I gave her a little smile to signal I was there and respecting her space. I never rush into getting my gear around once I’ve arrived (unless baby time was imminent!), allowing time for my presence to sink in and not be a disturbance.

What followed in the 7 hours after my arrival was a beautiful example of what support should look like in birth + the transformative power of being born into a mother for the first time…

There’s something about every birth I’ve attended that sparks me to write… whether that be an over-arching theme, a situation that pops up during birth, an intuitive feeling, or something that was said.

In this birth, there came a moment where Carie was disheartened and asked out loud, seemingly to no one and to everyone at the same time, “what am I doing wrong? I don’t get it!”. To which one of the midwives, Jaymie, responded with a sweet smirk and loving gaze, “Birth is illogical! You cannot use your rational mind. It won’t make sense. Your body is doing exactly what it’s supposed to.” I held onto this moment, even though I had only heard this quietly from the other room, and it sparked me to write the following poetic blurb on birth:

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“birth is illogical.

it does not use rational thought.

so throw it out the window:

the why’s,

the i-don’t-get-its,

the what-am-i-doing-wrong’s —

your body is doing exactly what it’s designed to do

stop thinking,

start surrendering

to the beautiful, messy process

of transformation & metamorphosis,

shedding your old identity from maiden to mother — remember,

even in the midst of pain

there is purpose

and divine, infinite design cannot be understood

with finite minds.”