My very first birth was one for the books. I picked up my camera in January 2021, and took my first client in March 2021! A whopping 2 months later and very little experience (but eyes wider than a kid in a candy store ready and eager to learn!), I took on my first birth. These mom’s reached out to me within weeks of birth as a last minute gift from their sister to photograph their birth. They trusted me whole-heartedly and the wait began!

I got a text around 11 am that contractions were coming but pretty irregular. Mom had been through some false alarms a couple of times before the big day, so I was holding out to see if it was official official. I then got a text around 2:45 pm from mom’s mom that things were getting serious and I need to head over NOW. Looking back, I should’ve asked for a little more information but my newbie heart was just so excited I sped off anticipating baby was emerging that very second! I showed up and mom was definitely in active labor but no transition as of yet.

Over the course of the next few hours, it was evident there was a bit of a funk in the atmosphere.

After everyone who was around kind of took their turns supporting mama, her wife was the last one with her in the shower before transition kicked in. All doors shut, tears streaming, calm voices of reassurance from her wife were heard from outside the door. “mmm… that’s exactly what’s needed,” my thoughts internalized. Mom was trying for so long to keep her composure and maintain control — but that’s the thing about birth. It demands control to be given up. It requires the art of surrender to become prominent. And I think this was the moment that release started to happen.

All the other birth workers and family were in the living room giving her space. Once transitioned finally kicked in, doula Ginny came back in the room to assist. I even got to support mom with my own hands as me and Ginny switched off from time to time to get some rest, as mom’s labor was long and hard.

Around 10:30pm mom finally hopped in the birth pool and it wasn’t long after that baby was beginning to crown. The room was filled with smiles and light laughs here and there as mom was fully turned inward working hard to bring her baby girl earth-side. Both moms were in the pool as baby began to crown, and big brother was patiently waiting to the side with grandma! It was an emotional experience for everyone in the room, and I was shooting blind after baby was out because I couldn’t see through my tears (lol). Below is my own little poetic blurb about this birth:

“there comes a point,

before labor transitions,

where you must come face to face

with the choice of

control

or surrender

to allow your body

to be as primal as it was made to be

or to hold onto inhibition,

some semblance of composure

for birth not only brings forth new life—

there’s another birth,

unforeseen & overlooked,

within the mother

as she sheds her inhibitions

and shell of who she once was

and emerges through the waves

a warrior

when you’re at that crossroads,

choose surrender.”

Kayle Carroll